sometimes life hits you so hard you can’t breathe growing up i ALWAYS wanted a dog. i knew better than to ask for one because my parents were always stressed out about space and money. but still… in our cramped condominium in carmichael, california i would trace my fingers over the glossy pages of a dog magazine i stole from the dentist’s office. (sorry dr. d!) golden retievers. boston terriers. border collies. pugs. poodles. bulldogs. chihuahuas. saint bernards. i was obsessed. listing off random dog facts from the car, to the supermarket, and at the dinner table. it was non stop. i grew up in a video rental store so i had access to a lot of movies. but among my favorites were homeward bound, beethoven, lassie… because… you know… DOGS! 💙 it got so bad my parents worked with a company called KIDEO to create a custom cartoon with my face in it to explain the many reasons why i couldn’t have a dog. and after i was done watching the “NO DOGS” KIDEO they took me to a mall and got me a terrarium and a hermit crab. now i don’t know about you… BUT A HERMIT CRAB IS NOT A DOG! they smell funny, look weird, are no fun to pet, and they make a HORRIBLE screeching sound that lasts for hours before they curl up one last time and die. more insect than pet. i didn’t want to seem ungrateful and taught not to complain, so my parents thought i loved my first hermit crab. so they got me another. and another. and another. in the 90s i raised a string of unloved hermit crabs i didn’t even bother to name. sorry guys. i sucked, but so did you. i buried my love of dogs into other people’s pets. any chance i got to visit friends’ houses i was off to the side getting licked in the face by stinky pups while the gang played ping pong or the N64. and it stayed that way for years until i met my girlfriend (now wife) in seoul. the first year i met her, SHE GOT A DOG and yes i love my wife but if i’m being completely honest i partially judged our early relationship based to my access to her dog. and that dog was suki. the closest i ever got to having a dog to call my own. then after we got married, i got to live with her and REALLY live out all of my childhood dog fantasies. running in the dog park, snuggling on the couch, weekend trips to the sea. begging for snacks. always begging for snacks. and now she’s gone. and the world is a quieter place. thank you everyone for the kind messages.